Strangers with Candy
by gonewiththepixiestix
Summary: The Acolytes attempt to get newbies by kidnapping Xavier's new recruits. 1st up: Rahne. What happens when she meets Sabortooth, who's part cat? [fic by Mai]
1. Kidnapping Rahne

Title: Strangers with Candy

Summary: The Acolytes attempt to gain new members into their supreme team by kidnapping Xavier's new recruits. Unfortunately, this does not go very well.

Disclaimer: I really wish I owned the Acolytes, really. Especially John, who I love more than I can possibly say. However, I don't. If you think I do, I want what you're on really bad. Maybe whatever your on will make me think I own John, and if you can't have it, you can always think you do. What a lame motto I live by

Notes: This Fic was written exclusively by Mai of gonewiththepixiestix, in other words, please don't kill Tearra because you hate it. On that note, don't kill me either. 

Notes2: I don't particularly like this chapter. The theory is as it goes on it will get better but who knows? I don't!

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They sat in the van, and they had been doing so for the past hour or so. The van was parked strategically behind some obscure shrubbery behind the giant building commonly known as the Xavier Institute. In other words, the van was hidden behind the Xmansion. 

Piotr was in the driver's seat; he appeared to be asleep. Or maybe he was awake with his eyes closed and drool coming out of the side of his mouth, no, he was definitely asleep. 

Remy was in the passenger's seat; he was shuffling his deck of cards for the millionth time in the past five minutes. He had his feet up on the dashboard, and was humming a song no one else recognized, but perhaps this was because he was so off key. 

St. John was in the back; he had some headphones on in a vain attempt to drown out Remy's humming. He had his zippo lighter in one hand, he was flickering it on and off. His other hand held some fries, which he was eating happily. This had been the rest of the team's attempt to keep him busy while they wait. 

What, you ask, are these three young men doing? Well, it all started earlier this morning. Their fearless leader, Magneto, had decided that his superb fighting team wouldn't be superb at all until they had more recruits. So, to Remy, Piotr, and John this meant kidnapping some of Xavier's kids. It's not like they didn't have any to spare anyway. But in some sort of temporary spell of idiocy, the Acolytes had forgotten the Xmen had school. So they sat waiting for the Xkiddies to come back home. It was about two thirty. They had waited for a while earlier, but then John had gotten bored so they had driven off to get him fries. The fries had kept him busy so far, which was good. A bored John was not a fun John. 

Remy hit another extremely off key note, waking Piotr up. It might be questioned if Remy was actually singing, because he sounded more like a dying animal. 

"Comrade, what are you doing to make such an awful noise?" Piotr asked in a sort of sleep way. His sleepiness was soon shaken off as Remy kept on singing. Piotr looked over to John in a sort of what-the-hell-is-he-doing way. 

John simply shrugged, and kept playing with his lighter and bobbing his head to the music. 

Just then, a very bright red car drove by. Remy stopped singing to point out an auburn and white haired head, "That be Remy's cheri," he said haughtily. 

"That's the girl you stalk?" John asked. 

"Remy does not stalk his p'tite, he simply happens to be where she is a lot," Gambit said.

"No, you stalk her. You even followed her into the girl's bathroom that one time," John said cockily. 

Remy blushed and sunk into his seat. 

Piotr rolled his eyes, "We be needing to go get some recruits for Magneto," he said in a low voice. 

"Ooh, let's pick one! I can't wait! It will be just like having a pet," St. John said dreamily.

The other two mutants in the car winced slightly, "John," Remy tried carefully, " remember what Remy and Piotr said, you can't be keep the newbie in a box."

John nodded, "and I can't set it on fire either, I know, I know," he said and rolled his eyes. 

Piotr and Remy didn't look a hundred percent sure that John knew what he was talking about. 

They watched as the Xmen got out of the shiny red. Everyone but one girl went inside, the girl went off, probably to wander off through the massive gardens. Remy was disappointed to say that the girl wasn't Rogue. Poor Remy. 

"Well, we're supposed to get a defenseless recruit anyway," Remy mumbled to himself. 

"Let's follow the shelia!" John yelled, and slid open the door with much enthusiasm. 

___________________

Rahne Sinclair grinned and chased after the squirrel, this was crazy fun! She wasn't in her wolf form, so of course, she didn't catch it. But she didn't really want to anyway, she was happy to just run in circles, which was what she was doing. 

She stopped when she smelt something funny, she span around quickly and found herself face to face with a hott Cajun. Well, this wasn't too bad.

"Hello p'tite," Remy said. 

Rahne backed away a little, recalling exactly whom Gambit worked for. But she bumped right into St. John, who was behind her. 

"Where are you goin' love?" John asked. 

Rahne's eyes went wide, she couldn't really see anyway of escape at this point, but it never hurt to try. But before she could go through the transformation of innocent little girl to ravaging wolf, she was injected with a needle. 

And then everything went black for Rahne. 

Remy caught the girl before she could fall and get serious brain damage, "Well, dat wasn't too hard. Let's be bringing her back to Magneto," he said coolly. 

______________

Back at the Acolyte compound, Victor Creed AKA Sabertooth, was eating raw meat. He might have cooked it (maybe) but that crazy red head Aussie had completely destroyed the microwave, and it was now no longer a microwave at all. He grunted and took another bite of the rather odd smelling red, raw meat. He was supposed to have gone with his other three teammates somewhere, but it hadn't seemed very important at the time so instead he had mugged a store for meat. 

The door opened, and Victor smelt his said three teammates walk in, he also heard them because John was yelling something loudly and Remy was singing. Victor hated it when Remy sang, he sounded like death. And it didn't help that Victor had sensitive hearing either. He was about to flee with his meat, when he smelled a fourth smell. 

It was the smell of a dog. 

Victor growled, he had told John that he didn't like dogs! So why did he keep bringing them in? Geez!

He prowled over to where his three teammates where, the living room. His raw meat lay somewhat forgotten on the counter. Oddly enough, he saw no dog. Just a red haired girl who was unconscious in Remy's arms. How she could stay asleep with Remy yodeling so close to her ear remained a mystery. 

"Alright, where's the dog?" Sabortooth asked. 

"Dog? What dog?" John said happily, he was setting a piece of paper on fire. Wait. That wasn't paper, it was the water bill. 

"The dog you guys got, where is it? I told you! I hate dogs!" Victor growled, he looked particularly scary today. 

Everyone raised an eyebrow, because, there was no dog. Victor had a look of complete annoyance plastered on his face, where was the damned dog? 

He would have to find it himself!

So he began to completely tear up the living room. Piotr shrugged and picked up the remote for the TV while his furry comrade tore up the sofa with his claws. 

"Sabortooth, did you be getting into the catnip again?" Remy asked. 

"Catnip? Where?" Victor said, because he loooved catnip. Where did they keep it anyway?

Remy sighed and took the remote from Piotr. The sudden movement caused Rahne to wake up. Rahne, who didn't' expect to wake up in Remy's arms with a raging cat man a few feet away, screamed. 

Everyone looked at Rahne oddly. She screamed a little more, then promptly changed into her wolf/dog form. 

Victor's eyes went wide, so that was the dog smell!

Wolfsbane had the instincts of a dog; it was with her always. She had enhanced senses, and everything else, including the instincts to kill all kitties. And Victor was just one big cat. Thus insued the chase. 


	2. True Love vs Reason

Title: Strangers with Candy

Summary: The Acolytes attempt to gain new members into their supreme team by kidnapping Xavier's new recruits. Unfortunately, this does not go very well.

Disclaimer: I really wish I owned the Acolytes, really. Especially John, who I love more than I can possibly say. However, I don't. If you think I do, I want what you're on really bad. Maybe whatever your on will make me think I own John, and if you can't have it, you can always think you do. What a lame motto I live by

Notes: This Fic was written exclusively by Mai of gonewiththepixiestix, in other words, please don't kill Tearra because you hate it. On that note, don't kill me either. 

Notes2: THANK YOU REVIEWERS, COOKIES TO ALL WHO REVIEW! YAY!

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Magneto had not been happy to find Rahne duct taped to a wall, he had not been happy at all. After a very long war between cats and dogs AKA Sabortooth and Wolfsbane, the other acolytes had settled it all out by duct taping Rahne to a wall, and making Sabortooth go outside with a large supply of ground beef. But the fact remained that the house was in shambles, and Rahne was duct taped to a wall. 

"I leave you idiots alone for three minutes, and the couch is in shreds!" Magneto yelled loudly, "You are the most incapable morons on the planet, why is my newest recruit duct taped to a wall? Do you know how hard it will be to gain her trust now?" 

Remy whimpered, "Mr. Boss Man, Remy be so sorry. He tried, really, but dey where too fast for him!"

Magneto looked confused, "What? Who was too fast?"

Remy frowned, he hadn't planned on the boss questioning his reason, so he made something up spur of the moment, "De aliens," he said, and nodded. 

Magneto slapped his own forehead with his hand, "You go to your room.." he said, and turned to his other two acolytes.

John was picking his nose, he stopped when Piotr slapped him, "Uh oh, sorry," St. John said quickly. 

Magneto sighed, _this_ was his team of mutants that where supposed to kill all humans? It was pathetic! He walked over to where Rahne was watching, still stuck to a wall, and tore the tape off. Rahne fell to the floor, getting up quickly. 

"What de ye be wanting with me?" she asked, "Let me go back home."

Magneto rolled his eyes, he was having a bad day and to top it off, this girl was as slow as molasses, "Look, your on the Acolytes now," he said to the Scottish mutant. 

Rahne's jaw dropped open, "No, I'm a XmanXgirl," she said. 

Magneto shrugged, "Your room is between Piotr and John's, but be careful, John snores like a lawn mower."

Rahne appeared to be in a state of shock. 

John was watching all this from the opposite side of the room, "I do not snore like a lawn mower," he yelled. 

Magneto didn't even bother to respond he simply pressed a hand to his forehead and wearily trudged upstairs. Piotr came out of the kitchen; he had wandered off for a sandwich while the boss was explaining to the girl. In his left hand he held a huge sandwich, in his right, the TV remote. He had hidden it in the freezer after Sabortooth and Rahne had gotten to the point in their war where they had been claiming territory and taking over lands. He watched as John repeatedly poked Rahne, who wasn't moving.

"I think the shelia died," he said. 

Piotr shrugged, and sat down on the shredded mess everyone was calling a couch. 

_____

Upstairs Remy was going through magazines and making all the female models' hair brown with white streaks, he was also adding dark makeup with his crayons. After making Paris Hilton look sufficiently like Rogue, Remy sighed dreamily, and snapped his magazine shut. He put the magazine under his bed, and shuffled his deck of cards lazily. Tomorrow they would go 'recruit' new members, maybe this time they wouldn't have to wait for seven hours. 

Gambit sat up; he wondered what Rogue was doing _now. _She was probably done from Danger Room, and arguing with the ditzy roommate of hers, or making fun of the red head telepath. But he wanted to know for sure. 

In the past, stalking Rogue had gotten Remy in trouble. But this meant nothing to the Cajun mutant. After all, what was true love.. Obsession compared to following rules and not being given extra chores? Nothing of course! So Remy grinned slyly to himself, the grin made him look all the sexier. 

He walked over to the window, and easily popped it open. He couldn't get caught. There was an escape ladder nearby; actually, they're where tons of escape ladders everywhere. This was because the compound caught fire on a regular basis, as in, at least once a day. Remy slid over to the escape ladder, and lowered himself down. 

He smiled cockily with satisfaction, and walked over to his motorcycle. He just knew Rogue was in trouble and needed him to save her, don't worry Rogue, Remy's coming! Gambit smiled, and started the motorcycle. 

__________

If we wander back over to where John, Piotr and Rahne where AKA the living room, you'll see Piotr sitting on the 'couch' watching Powerpuff Girls, Rahne recovering from her sudden team switch, and John playing with his lighter. St.John's lighter, who's name was Allison, was his best friend. Allison and him had been together for a long time; she was the only one who understood him. He ran a finger down her shiny metallic side affectionately, and wondered why real girls weren't like this. 

Piotr watched his Australian friend quizzically; there was something seriously wrong with that one. Maybe now that they had the Scottish girl, there would be another sane person on the team. Because, though Remy could be sane sometimes, many other times he seemed a bit off his rocker. And Victor was most definitely not sane; there was no way. He sighed, thinking of Victor. Having both the Scottish girl and him in the same compound might be hard. Somehow, this lead him to wonder why all of Magneto's Acolytes were foreigners, did he not like Americans or something? Seriously!

Rahne frowned; she was trying to think of how to escape. There just had to be a way. Though a few of her kidnappers didn't seem all to bright, like the redhead who was licking his lighter, they where violent and evil enough to make up for it. She sighed, and sat down on the shredded couch next to Piotr. 


	3. Another Thing Not To Put In The Dryer

Title: Strangers with Candy

Summary: The Acolytes attempt to gain new members into their supreme team by kidnapping Xavier's new recruits. Unfortunately, this does not go very well.

Disclaimer: I really wish I owned the Acolytes, really. Especially John, who I love more than I can possibly say. However, I don't. If you think I do, I want what you're on really bad. Maybe whatever your on will make me think I own John, and if you can't have it, you can always think you do. What a lame motto I live by

Notes: This Fic was written exclusively by Mai of gonewiththepixiestix, in other words, please don't kill Tearra because you hate it. On that note, don't kill me either. 

Notes2: THANK YOU REVIEWERS, COOKIES TO ALL WHO REVIEW! YAY!

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Rahne watched in fascination from on top of a nearby table, as John giggled evilly. He was standing next to the drying and washing machines. She had just witnessed him put seven bricks inside the dryer. John pushed the 'on' button, and quickly ran next to Rahne. 

"Quick, shelia, get off the table!" he said, and pushed Rahne off. 

Rahne landed with a thud, but got up fast, rubbing her back. She blinked a few times in surprise as John turned the table on its side. As all this was happening, the dryer was getting huge dents in it and making funny noises. Each time a brick hit the side, you could see a brick shaped indention come in. John dodged under the table, and Rahne, clueing in, got under it too. 

And then the door to the dryer burst open, completely broken beyond repair and bent out of shape. This sent the seven bricks pummeling into the table at a breakneck speed, leaving dents in that too. Rahne had no comment, would her life be like this now? How sad. 

"Wow, did yeh see tha', shelia? Tha' was great!" he said, very happy with himself. 

"Comrade, did you put bricks in the dryer, again?" Piotr said, as he walked in. 

John blushed, "uh, no, it was the shelia," he stuttered. 

"You expect me to believe that?" Piotr frowned. 

John looked like he wasn't listening, or maybe his attention span was so short he couldn't last a normal conversation. He skipped away happily upstairs, leaving Piotr and Rahne to ponder what just happened. Piotr groaned, and began to pick up bricks and straighten tables. 

"The boss is not going to be being happy about this," he said solemnly, only to find Rahne had left too. 

The ordeal with the dryer had given Rahne an idea on escape. She grinned like she Cheshire Cat; this was just too perfect. First, she needed to find the catnip. And second, she needed something to eat. Except the second part had nothing to do with the plan. 

She wondered where people normally kept catnip, where was somewhere Sabortooth would _not_ go? She shrugged, and figured maybe she should check the freezer first, Piotr seemed to like to keep things there. 

In the freezer, she found a few socks, and something that looked disturbingly like blood in a test tube, but no catnip. She closed the freezer, and felt a little lost. Where was somewhere else Sabortooth wouldn't go? Just then she heard some explosions, coming from John's room. Now there was a place no one would go. 

Then it hit her. Where was the scariest place ever? St. John's room of course! Grinning to herself, she made her way up. 

_____

A sunny afternoon found Rogue walking down a street filled with shops. She was strolling with her head down, and a hoodie over her eyes. Most people would see just a dark figure, but Remy knew immediately it was Rogue. He smiled cockily, and watched her go into a bookstore. 

He followed her in; she walked around a bit before finally picking up an Anne Rice book and sitting down. He conveniently sat near her, but where she wouldn't be able to see him unless she looked directly at him. Then he proceeded to memorize everything about her. The way she turned the page was _such_ a turnon. 

He smiled dreamily; his chere was _so_ perfect. He closed his eyes, thinking of her too see if he had, in fact, memorized her. 

When he opened his eyes she wasn't there. 

Panic swept over Remy, where was she? Where could she be? Omigosh, she could get in trouble, or be hurt. He needed to find her. Remy stood up quickly. 

"Lookin' foh someone, swamp rat?" came a sarcastic voice behind him. Remy turned swiftly around, seeing Rogue. "You've been stalkin' me foh the past hour and a half, why? What do ya want, Cajun?" she asked cruelly. 

"Remy jus' happen the like books, dat be all," he said smoothly. 

"ye follow me everywhere, leave me alone!" Rogue yelled, and turned around and left, leaving her book on a shelf. 

Remy frowned, and watched her go. As soon as she was out of site, he picked up the book and inhaled the scent of Rogue. Mmmmm.

____

St. John was lying on his bed; he had his feet in the air, and was on his stomach. Across the room from him, his dresser was on fire. He smiled, and watched the flames envelope all his belongings, seemingly enjoying this. Now all he had was the clothes he was wearing right now. John sighed deeply. Then he took out some silly string from under his bed, and sprayed some into the already raging fire. 

As many people now, silly string is the most flammable household item you will ever find. This meant there was a rather big explosion following this action. 

Rahne paused at the door, what was that noise? And why was there all tha heat coming from his room she rethought her plan silently, maybe this wasn't the best idea. But then, with a sudden splurge or courage, she opened the door. What she found was John in his boxers, watching his dresser go into flames. His lighter was next to him. 

Rahne's eyes went wide, she realized john wanted his stuff to die, so she didn't' say anything but, "uh excuse me? Uh, Pyro? Would you happen to know where the catnip is?"

John nodded, "in there," he said, and pointed to his dresser, than was on fire.

Rahne screamed, "But John! I need that, please, please put the fire out."

John was rather startled, "uh, ok," he said, why was she screaming?


	4. To The Store!

Title: Strangers with Candy

Summary: The Acolytes attempt to gain new members into their supreme team by kidnapping Xavier's new recruits. Unfortunately, this does not go very well.

Disclaimer: If I owned Xmen, I would be partying right now. Instead, I'm sitting on my bed with a laptop. See the difference? 

Notes: I went to New York for Thanksgiving, yay for me. However, I only have today to update. Because, someone is taking my computer, whose name is Jannet, until Friday. So, no nothing until then. This is why I am taking the time to update today. Aren't I nice? I'm so nice. 

Notes2: Once again, I shall take this time to say "Thanks" to everyone and anyone, who has reviewed, or plans on doing so in the future. Yayness to you. And, also Yayness to the person who is reading this very sentence right now. Kudos! 

Notes3: It's a filler chapter, next one will be better I hope. 

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If you didn't know dogs don't like fire, I'll tell you now. Dogs don't like fire. So it was common sense to realize Rahne didn't like fire either. A lot of people like fire, Rahne didn't. She jumped around franticly while John blinked slowly. What was she doing?

"John! C'mon, lad. Make the fire go out," she said, waving her arms around. 

Make the fire go out? Never! It was too beautiful to simply be put out; he would never do such a thing. John found her asking to do something like put out the fire insulting. He had offended her greatly. 

"Shelia, are you a few sandwiches short of a picnic or what? Why would I do som'thin' like that? It's bloody carker crazy!" said the pyromaniac Aussie. 

Rahne had no idea what he had just said, "Say what?"

"I said, it's crazy!"

Rahne sighed, "Please, I need the catnip."

"I didn't know you liked catnip,"

"No, not for me."

"Oh, well. Too bad. It's all dead now," John grinned smugly. 

"John, you just destroyed 99.1% of your things," she pointed out. 

St. John shrugged in a sort of do-you-think-I-care fashion. 

By now the dresser was a smoldering pile of splinters and ashes. The fire had managed to not spread to the bed, or any other rooms. Though John was insane in many ways, he knew now to let the fire get too out of control. He had been there before, and Magneto, for some reason, did not appreciate having to call the firefighters. Nor did he like having to rebuild houses that where no more. He didn't like finding dead animals on his favorite chair either, but that wasn't John, it was Victor so ha! But that's off subject. Back to Rahne and Johnny. 

"Well, I need catnip and I need it now," Rahne said, she felt John was responsible for this. 

"I can't drive, shelia," John pointed out. 

"But you're seventeen,"

  
"I know, I should be able too! But ever since I totaled that golf cart and ran over Piotr, no one will let me near a car."

Rahne backed away a little bit, "Fine, then we'll walk!"

"We'll? We being you and your other personality?" John was confused. 

"We bein' you and me!"

John blinked a little bit. Someone actually wanted to take him somewhere? It was a dream come true! Maybe this new girl wasn't so bad after all.

________

Victor Creed was sharpening his claws outside on a tree. It would be an understatement to say the tree was dead, this tree was beyond dead. It was hardly anything resembling a tree anymore. Now, it was simply a pile of twigs cleverly disguised as a tree. Because Saborttooth had completely killed this once-a-tree. 

He turned away, satisfied with his work and ready to go reek destruction somewhere else. Maybe he could go fight with Wolverine. That was always fun. Or, maybe he could go kill that wolf/dog girl. She didn't belong with the Acolytes anyway. Plus, she was part dog, and that was enough reason for him to murder her anyway. Victor smiled, and walked over closer to the compound. Supposedly, they had locked him out. But it was possible a window was open. If not he could always just rip open a wall, either one would work just fine. 

He looked in one of the windows. Piotr was asleep on the floor, that boy could sleep through World War II. Taking this as a sign from God, Victor scratched the window somewhat carefully with a long claw. The window broke and was no longer in existence after a few more scratches. Grinning to himself, he climbed through and began his search for the dog girl. 

________

They walked out of the house inconspicuously, sort of. Actually, John cartwheeled out of the house. Rahne was the only one walking. After a few more cartwheels, John stopped. He grinned and skipped beside Rahne. She was already pretty annoyed. 

"Will ye stop for a minute with the skipping?"

"Why?"

"Because, it be giving me a headache, lad!"

"Really?" John skipped in circles around her. 

"STOP!"

John stopped, but he started whistling. He wasn't a bad whistler, but it was still incredibly annoying. Why was he so happy? Ack. 

And they still had three miles to go. 


	5. Forty Bottles of Beer on the Wall

Title: Strangers with Candy

Summary: The Acolytes attempt to gain new members into their supreme team by kidnapping Xavier's new recruits. Unfortunately, this does not go very well.

Disclaimer: If I owned Xmen, I would be partying right now. Instead, I'm sitting on my bed with a laptop. See the difference? 

Notes: "I have exams next week." That was my planned apology for not updating in a while. And it's true too, I do, in fact, have exams. It's sad, yes, but true. I need to study. So, not many updates will be coming your way until my exams are over. 

Notes2: **I'm _considering _deleting this fic, and putting it on my other account, Mendari**. It's just, this account was meant for OC stories, and this story is void of OCs. Plus, this account [gonewiththepixiestix] is shared. But I don't know. If you think I should, tell me. 

Notes3: **Question:** Should I make this sort of Rahne/John? Those are my single two favorite characters, and they _would_ make a pretty cool pairing. But, Rahne is about fifteen, right? And John is what, seventeen? Well, it's not as bad as AMYRO fics. Amara is only thirteen in Evo, and as I said before, John is much older. [Yah, I found out Rahne is a older than Amara.]But anyway, should I? Please tell me. 

While I'm at it, I'll put the ages of the recruits in this fic. Because, after all, this fic will contain a lot of the new recruits. 

Amara Aquilla- 13

Tabitha Smith- 15

Rahne Sinclair- 15

Jubilation Lee- 13

Sam Guthrie- 16

Roberto DaCosta- 17

Ray Crisp- 16

Jamie Madrox- 12

Bobby Drake- 15

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"Has anyone seen Rahne?" asked Sam; "I was going to play fetch with her. Has anyone seen her at all?" he said. He had just walked into the Rec. Room, where Ray, Bobby, and Jubes where playing Pool. 

"Nope," Ray said, and lined up for a shot. 

Jubes looked up, "I think she went outside," she said. 

Sam nodded, "Oh, ok. But, it's been a while, shouldn't she be back?" He worried easily. 

"Ah, stop being so uptight! She's fine," Ray laughed as he sunk in the eight ball, causing Jubilee to sigh. That was his third win in a row. 

____

"Ooh, forty bottles of beer on the wall! Forty bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, thirty-nine bottles of beer on the wall!" John sang, it had been a while since we last left them. They where about half way to the store. Magento's compound truly was in the middle of nowhere. 

Rahne was getting tired of this song. He had begun at one hundred bottles, and was down to forty. It had to be the single most repetitive song in the history of mankind, and she was so tired of it, it he continued singing it she would hurt him. But, living with people like Bobby and Amara had given her patience. So she decided to let him finish. After all, only thirty-eight more bottles to go, right? And she could always tune it out, right?

------ TWENTY MINUTES LATER-----

"Ooh, one bottle of beer on the wall, one bottle of beer! Take one down, pass it around, no bottles of beer on the wall!" John finished his song; he was out of breath, to say the least. "Wasn't that fun? It was fun, right?" he said. 

Rahne nodded, she was so happy it was over. She had been sure that song would last forever, but finally it was over. Rahne didn't know if she had ever been this relieved in her life. "Yes, it was very fun, lad" she said. 

"Let's sing it again! Ooh, one hundred bottles of beer on the wall, one hundred bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall," he began. 

"NO, PLEASE NO," Rahne screamed. 

John looked a little taken back. His bottom lip quivered, "Do you not like my singing? It's better than Remy's.." he said sadly. 

Rahne looked at John, who seemed like he might cry. She hated to be so mean to someone who had the same amount of brain cells as the average cucumber, "No, your singin' is very nice. But, sing somethin' else, please," she said. 

Pyro brightened at once, "Sure thing, shelia! It's a small world after all; it's a small world after all! It's a small world after all! It's a small, small world."

Rahne immediately wished she had never said anything. Or for that matter taken him on this trip. On the up side, there was only ten more minutes to go. But how long could she last?

___

Sabortooth sniffed the air, where was the dog girl? He was standing by Piotr, who was still asleep. Even after Victor had thrown the remainder of the living room around, and on top of, him. That kid really could sleep like a rock. 

Where was she?

He took a deep breath through his nose, and crouched down to the floor. She had been here earlier, they she had moved to the laundry room. Victor got up and walked to the laundry room, to find that the dryer was dead. It had huge square like dents in it, and the door was thrown off. A table nearby was dented and overturned. Apparently John had been allowed near the household appliances again. 

She wasn't there, he sighed. Where could she have gone? Then he caught her scent again; it was leading to- _John's Room._

Now, Victor was a rather fearless man. He laughed at danger, and picked fights with immortal men such as Wolverine. But, even he was afraid of _that psychopath's room. _Who knew what sort of insane things went on in there? But, he needed to find the wolf girl. The fate of the world depended on him, and he wasn't going to fail. Victor took a deep breath, and began to climb up the stairs. 

He could see John's room through the open door. It looked as messy as usual; no one was really even all that sure what color the carpet was. Or rather, if there was a carpet. Magneto did, however, vaguely remember white carpet being up there before John moved in. But it was doubtful the carpet was still white. The one definite thing Victor noticed about John's room now, was the smoldering pile of ashes where his dresser used to be. He smelled the remnants of catnip in the ashes. 

So that's where it had been. And now it was gone. Victor felt a deep sense of loss; the catnip had been his friend. But, it had been a casualty to St. John's insanity. 

He needed to focus on the problem at hand, finding the wolf girl. She would die first, then he could avenge the catnip. 

Yes, she had been here. But she had gone, and taken John with her. Why anyone would take John anywhere was beyond him. But, still. 

__

Remy walked into the Acolyte compound reading his brand new Anne Rice book; the very one Rogue had picked up. He had bought it, wait, scratch that, he had stolen it. Remy never looked up from his book as he shut the door with his foot, and walked into the living room. 

The couch was still in shreds; actually, if possible it was even more shredded than before. The walls where covered in scratches, Remy would need to paint over that before the boss came back from wherever he was. Piotr was asleep, next to a broken window. 

Remy and John had tested to see exactly _how _deep of a sleeper Piotr was, and it turns out he was practically dead as soon as he hit the pillow. He hadn't woken up when John had poured ice cubes down his shirt, or when Remy had put headphones playing Marilyn Manson on his ears, or when they had both jumped on the bed. I could go on listing the things they did, but it would be redundant. The fact was, waking up Piotr was impossible unless you knew how to do it properly. 

"Oh, what beautiful drawings! Dey capture Kitty so wonderfully! Remy especially like dis one, where she be havin' no clothes on!" Remy said loudly. 

Piotr woke up immediately, and sat up. He turned angrily to Remy, "I told you not to look at my drawings, comrade. Hand them over!"

Remy held up both hands empty, having put his book on his lap. "Remy don't have no drawings, they still be in your room. Remy jus' need to wake Piotr up," he replied. 

Piotr sighed and stood up, "Say, where is John and Rahne?"


	6. If I Were A Cookbook, Where Would I Hide...

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Title: Strangers with Candy

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Summary: The Acolytes attempt to gain new members into their supreme team by kidnapping Xavier's new recruits. Unfortunately, this does not go very well.

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Disclaimer- I do not own Xmen. 

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Notes- I deleted the interlude because I felt like it, so ha. This is a normal chapter, yes. And umm yah. 

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Notes2- Sorry for not updating in so long, I don't have an excuse, I was just lazy and didn't update. Sorry! I hope this semi makes up for it, please forgive me. Please don't hate me forever. 

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Notes3- Tearra, whom I co-own this account with, has started a fic called **Squirrels for ship**. She asked me to write every other chapter. So, every even numbered chapter will me by me, Mai. The odd numbered chapters are by Tearra, my bestest friend. Yah, so go read that if you want. w00t. 

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Notes4- From here on their will be _mild_ Rahne/John. It's going to be a very interesting, and at times funny pairing. You'll see what I mean in this chapter. I hope you like it. I'm the first person to write it, I believe. So I have the honors of naming this pairing. I can't think of anything though, any ideas?

_________

They were at a local gas station in the middle of nowhere, looking for catnip for Rahne's evil plan. The owner of the store, an old man, had been very excited to get some customers. He hadn't had some of those for a long time. But what did you expect? He had a gas station in the middle of nowhere. 

Rahne was looking in one of the aisles, while John was somewhere else looking not for catnip, but for matches or lighters. Wolfsbane picked up a box, looking for some indication as to whether it was what she was looking for or not, and then put it down. In truth, Rahne didn't believe she had ever seen a box of catnip before. Did it even come in a box? What aisle should she look in? So far she had ruled out the frozen foods aisle, but that was all. Then again, the gas station was small so there weren't that many places to look. 

"You lookin' for somethin' in particular, miss?" 

Rahne turned around to face the asker or the question: the owner of the store. "Er, yes actually. I'm looking for some catnip. Tha' would be where then?"

The store owner's face took on a blank look for a minute before he answered the question, "With the pet supplies, miss." Then he walked away. 

Rahne shrugged, and went over to the pet supplies part. She easily found the catnip, and was surprised to see that it look just like a cat toy. Rahne went up to the counter to pay for it. 

"What're you doin', shelia?"

Rahne blinked at John, who had followed her to the counter. "I'm payin' for the catnip, lad. What that you are doing? Why are you stuffin' lighters in yer pockets? You need ta pay for that, laddie"

"Oh, dog-girl, you're an Acolyte now. You need to live by the Acolyte way! This means, you don't need to pay for nothing anymore," John said. 

"Of course I have to pay! Or else I'd be stealing," Rahne responded automatically. 

"It's not stealing. You're just taking what's rightfully yours from the evil humans."

"I'm going to pay now. Where'd that old man get ta, I wonder?" Rahne asked. 

"No! You can't pay!" John screamed, and grabbed the catnip from Rahne's hand before running out the door. 

________

"I'm very disappointed with all of you," Magneto lectured to Piotr, Remy, and Viktor Creed. "Everytime I leave you alone, something breaks, explodes, or dies. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Sorry boss man," the three chorused. 

"Especially you Viktor, how old are you? I expected better. And Remy, didn't we discuss being a good babysitter? And Piotr? Why is the window broken? This is the eighth window this week. I'm not made of money, or glass, you know!"

"Sorry boss man," they said again. 

"And where are Pyro and Wolfsbane?"

"We don't know, boss man," said Remy. 

"Oh, well they'll turn up. As a punishment, I'm going to have to ask you to make dinner tonight. Oh, and tomorrow I expect another mutant to be on my team by the time I get home. I'll be leaving early in the morning to bring my son back from that damned Brotherhood. He'll be staying with us until Wanda calms down," Magneto said before walking away. 

"De boss' gay son be stayin' wih us, again?" Remy groaned. "Gambit don't want to entertain dat small mind for one more minute so he better not ask to play Monopoly."

"I hope he doesn't bring any dirty magazines this time," Piotr sniffed. 

"Remy liked dos."

"It doesn't sound like you're cooking down there!" Magneto yelled.

"Yes, boss man."

There was a pause where no one said or did anything. Piotr shuffled his feet; Remy looked distantly out the nearby window; and Viktor drooled. 

"You know, hommes, Remy got something' to do. He can't be cooking right now, sorry," Remy said quickly, and walked away. 

This left Viktor and Piotr. Colossus smiled weakly at Viktor, who was still drooling. "You know, comrade, I think we can trust you to cook today. I mean, I cook almost everyday," Piotr said slowly. 

Viktor was not responding, so Piotr took that as a yes and also walked away. So, I guess Sabortooth was going to cook tonight. Let's see how that goes, shall we? Alright. 

It looks as if he had just realized exactly what had happened. He was just now registering the fact that he, and only he, would be cooking for the Acolytes. His companions were already gone; Remy probably to gamble, and no one was quite sure were Piotr went on days like this. They could only guess. Viktor's eyes went wide, because he honestly had no idea to cook. But, he realized he had to. 

"Maybe there is a cookbook around here somewhere," he said to himself. 


End file.
